Social Suicide

Scenario: It's Friday night and you are looking damn fine at the club when your friend introduces you to someone they recently met. You, politely, hold up one finger as you through back the shot of Jager you're holding, chase it with your Redbull and then extend your hand.

The next morning, you ooze yourself out of bed, crawl to the refrigerator for some liquid refreshment, shower the smell of vodka and regret from your body and sit down to check your Facebook. 24 notifications, 2 emails and... 1 friend request. After racking your brain, you realize it's the guy you met for a hot second last night. You accept his request and then...

There are a few ways this could play out. Here are a few guidelines to help your new friendship flourish:

Do NOT: Friend request me, Facebook chat me the minute I accept, invite me to have coffee and go check out this super cool new band that is playing tonight.

Do: Send me an email in the morning on Facebook saying that it was nice meeting me and upon receipt of my positive response, send me a friend request.

Do NOT: Make a comment about every picture taken of me the night before and leave me overly friendly comments on every status message I write.

Do: Test the water by leaving a comment on my witty status message or leave me a positive comment on that photo from last weekend which made me look especially tan and thin.

Do NOT: Touch me the second time I see you in person. Seriously. No arm around the shoulder, no attempt at a peck on the lips and no hand on my waist. I will remove it, promptly.

Do: Come up to me the next time you see me out and remind me who you are because, honey, I meet a lot of people.

Do NOT: Order three shots for yourself and start stumbling into people.

Do: Ask me if I'd like a drink.

Friendships are just like relationships and you need to apply the same rules. I want a little mystery, a little anticipation, and most importantly, a lot of space. I do fall in love at first sight, sometimes. I knew immediately that I was going to spend the rest of my life with my oldest friend, Cordelia, or my best, Tristan. On the other hand, I couldn't stand Courtney Rockcliffe when I first met her but I kept running into her around town and now we are happily growing old together.

Give me some time to fall in love with the wonderful person that you are. I am already at 5,000 texts a month and 100 notifications on Facebook is a slow day but I can always make room in my life for one more amazing person.