A blogger wrote of them: "Those queers are only 5,000 votes from beating Densey & Mary. (and we all know how accustomed they are to the come from behind win). I don't know if I can control my anger if Nancy & Sissy win this!!!"... and, after saying "excuse me?!", the boys pushed on.
Glaad said of them: "We commend their courage in standing up and celebrating their love despite some defamatory attacks."... and, several interviews later, the boys pushed on.
BeyondReproach wrote on Twitter about them: "Let's all band together and push for change in the name of love. Not hate."... and, after retweeting, the boys pushed on.
Over 20,000 people cast a vote for a dream wedding but to these guys, and to many of us, it was no longer just about winning a romantic wedding. It has become so much more. It has become a gesture of support for our community and our marriage equality fight.
There are really only two kinds of activism: one that changes your laws and one that changes your mind. The latter is always more powerful in the end.
Do I expect a conservative middle American to be at Pride this summer waving a rainbow flag because they followed this story? No, I don't. Do I think thousands upon thousands of people got to see a diiferent side of our community that many people try to hide from them, namely the love between two gay people? Yes, I do.
So, with twenty thousand four hundred and thirty eight votes, my friends Gregory Jones and Jonathan Howard are currently in 2nd place in Crate & Barrel's Ultimate Wedding Contest. What happens now? A panel of highly trained people-who-make-your-dreams-come-true will decide which couple will be having the wedding of their dreams and who will be getting a whole lot of shiny stemware.
To me, it would be a nice statement to the world if these boys won the contest but, in reality, the most important part is already done. Thousands of people voted, blogged, Facebooked, MySpaced, Tweeted, emailed, called and spread the word by mouth that We're Here. We're Queer. And We're Not Going To Hide Our Love.
Thank you, Greg & Jon. I only have one request for the wedding. No matter which way this turns out, please have a chalkboard like you did at your engagement party. :-)
And now, a thank you from the boys: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmvTfiWbCpg
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I’m so glad to see that GLAAD and its associates think these gay couples deserve to win more than anyone else. You’re right. Oh, and that everyone else thinks their friends “deserve” to win because they’re crippled/had cancer/struck with tragedy. Gimme a break. All these couples whining about their adversity makes me ill. Look, I get that you’re rooting for your guys cause you’re all on the same team in the same community, but that still doesn’t make the plea for sympathy votes any more pathetic, and most definitely not compelling. In fact, it’s the same damn narrative again. “We’re gay, and I love him/her. Let’s show those meanies who say our love isn’t real.” Wow, compelling. You’re probably the same dolts who gave the Oscar to Sandy even though we’ve seen that same tired role again and again.
ReplyDeleteSo forget that this lame attempt at compelling and riveting narrative is refreshing, (it’s not), but there is something to be said for the whole deserving aspect of the entry. Why do you deserve it more than someone else? Should we go through and eliminate every couple with a sob story of cancer/familial death/typhoon? Should we burn it down to who almost died in the worst way? According to your pitiful logic we should. You think because Couple X hasn’t suffered a tragedy, that “LGBT Couple B” deserves it more. No one deserves anything. No one.
Not only that, these couples sexuality is the sole thrust of their love story. That’s it. The culmination of their love is that they can’t get married, and C&B will somehow “validate that.” Bull#$%^. You’re worse than the lupus chick who completely defines herself by her disease. You are nothing but a shell without your sexuality. Nothing in your story is remotely intriguing beyond it.
So no matter. You can hijack the narrative as much as you want. In fact, that’s the goal. Rail against the breeders keepin’ you down. The contest is supposed to be about your love, not a political point. But it’s not enough for you is it? You’ve revealed to be nothing but shills for a political movement under the cover of loving matrimony. Congrats on that, boys.
I wish you hadn't posted anonymously. I feel you might possibly write a blog that I would follow.
ReplyDeleteAs for this story, it has nothing to do with who deserves it more. It has nothing to do with getting votes. (It was written and published after the voting was over) And it definitely is not a narrative on the foundation of this couple's love.
If I was writing a narrative on their love, I would have written about how Greg and Jon met. About how their love flourished. How Greg held Jonathan's hand as he faced his attacker in court. How when you're alone with them, it's hard to catch everything because they can exchange a thought through just a glance at each other. I would write about their engagement party and how plans for the wedding were underway before they even got wind of this contest. I'd write about them. This blog was about something bigger than them. Something they helped shine a light on to a whole lot of people.
It was written to put a young gay loving couple out there for the gay community to see. Our culture is plagued by images of slutty, coked out twinks dancing on boxes in clubs and waking up in a stranger's bed. I wrote this blog to tell our youth, and many older people who haven't grown up, that there is another option. That two people can find love.
It's also about injustice. Not extreme injustice where our community is shackled in chains but that we're afraid to hold hands in most parts of this country because people fear what they don't know. A high profile contest like this puts positive images in those people's heads. It takes away the fear. US Magazine's weekly photo spread "Celebrities, They're Just Like US!" comes to mind. When everyone realizes we're all not that different, we can move on from the fight for marriage equality and go back to important things like fashion and interior design, where we belong.
I read the story of the #1 couple. It's very sad and emotional. I wish nothing but for them to get a break from their struggle and have a day where someone else caters to them, especially to her, but this contest was never about a couple's love. How do you explain your love to 20,000 people in 250 words or less?? You don't. You tell a story. You go for the sympathy vote. You make a statement. Greg and Jonathan made a great and positive statement. Nothing I read from them was ever attacking or vindictive. I know them well so I can vote for their love but many others were voting for "our team"... and what's wrong with that?
This story makes people happy. It makes people smile. It gives people hope. I'm most upset that someone with your obviously skills at verbal communication couldn't see that those are all the reasons I shared this story.
That said, I appreciate you sharing your thoughts.
J, you are an inspiration. The above "anonymous" comment came across like the bitter rantings of someone who has never won anything in their life. And probably has never had the courage to try!
ReplyDeleteJoel,
ReplyDeleteI kept my name as anonymous for the very reason the other Anon. ranted about. I, in fact, am not bitter nor a loser. I have been quite successful in life despite any tragedy, and there have been many, to befell me. Your reference to the poor representation of "slutty, coked out twinks dancing on boxes in clubs" is quite true. G&J are positive role models as the antithesis of that image. But I question their relationship and entry into the contest not on sexuality but out of intent.
"...this contest was never about a couple's love." No, because of agenda of G&J and their like minded compatriots and those defined by their pity parties. People like this: http://tinyurl.com/yk9koch. She no more "deserves" a wedding than G&J. That's my point.
If your narrative is nothing better than, "I'm 'label X' vote for me," you are sad and pathetic. You are defined by what you let define you, and for G&J, their entry says NOTHING about their relationship. All you know as an unbiased reader is that they met and they're in love. Nothing else. There's nothing else of substance there. It's flat, unemotive, and vanilla.
Combine that bad narrative with a slicky produced media campaign in an effort to push a very clear agenda, and it violates all decorum in the contest. Then it's not about the entry, it's about some ridiculous hijacking of a contest about couples in love for purely political reasons. Every piece of media from them hammers this home. "Jonathan said: “We have the power to change society, we have the power to make a difference.” Or "This contest means a lot to the Gregory and I, but it will also mean a lot to the LGBTQ community." The agenda is ever present, and that fine, but this isn't the forum.
My final point is that G&J are no better than the gun nuts and gun control wackos outdoing each other at Starbucks. C&B is NOT going to pick them as winners. They WILL get a prize, but not as the ultimate winner. Why would they reward a couple who dragged them into a nasty debate no one wants to be a part of? I'm sure the C&B execs are debating this very issue. It's damned if they do, damned if they don't, and let me tell you, that's NO way to win friends and influence people.
One last thing, what in their entry evokes "Originality and creativity of Entrant’s responses to the topics (50%)?" An outdoor vineyard surrounded by family and friends? Really. That's best they could come up with?
"...invokes and inspires Crate and Barrel’s lifestyle (30%)?" Well, gay people do shop at C&B... but... yeah.
You're right, sounds like a winning entry.
Hi again Anony,
ReplyDeleteYour response is well thought out, well researched and well articulated but I don't think this is the correct forum for this discussion. I urge you to forward your response, only slightly edited, on to the Crate & Barrel dream wedding committee. I know you must not have an issue with Greg & Jon because you don't know them and you do not have an issue with my blog because you are intelligent and have no doubt read my bio over there to the left and know what this blog is all about.
Your issue is with C&B. From what I gathered, all couples who differed from a story strictly about their love should be disqualified. Now tell me this: What great love story didn't have adversity? Adversity makes us care, as the one in the relationship or the one following the relationship. Disney has built an empire on just that. Love, adversity, happily ever after. Take that overcoming an obstacle out of the equation and you have boy meets girl. Boy falls for girl. Boy lives happily ever after in a Manhattan penthouse with girl. That just doesn't make for good story telling and definitely not for engaging strangers.
Once again, I did not say any couple deserved anything. I said, now here is a story that I could tell that would not only help me by writing it but others. I haven't met all my readers but the ones that I have wouldn't deny me this.
Your responses border on ranting because you are applying your dislike of this contest onto me and my blog. It's very simple. I told a story. It made people smile. Mission accomplished for this blogger.