Happily Ever Afterers
You are addicted to love. You breathe it like oxygen. You need it like water. Without love, you are lost. You are a Happily Ever Afterer. As a child, you sat in front of your TV and longed for Prince Charming to slip the glass slipper on your foot and sweep you off to a future of eternal happiness. Unfortunately, you may find yourself sitting alone in your golden years clinging to this fantasy.You are wired to expect to fall in love at first sight, have a wild drama filled courtship as you two work together to overcome a major obstacle and then retire into a never ending bliss. The issues arise when you don't have the crazy love at first sight feeling, when dating doesn't come with drama, passion, thrilling adventures or beating some overwhelming odds. When this happens, you don't really consider it love. You don't value it. Did your grandparents have an amazing story about how they met and how she waited for 7 years for him to come back from "the war"? It doesn't always happen like that. Sometimes, people meet on the subway and go get coffee.
Drama isn't just a relationship working out the kinks. It means that you two aren't working out perfectly because you don't fit as well as you initially thought. That's alright. It hardly ever plays out the way we thought. Just be cautious that you don't brush off Prince Charming just because there isn't a 200 foot half-octopus sea witch trying to tear you apart.
Good Girls Who Like Bad Boys
You believe in love. You want a good guy, someone different from all those jerks you've dated before. You don't want no mo' drama. You are a Good Girl Who Likes Bad Boys. The truth is, you don't really want love. You don't really want the good guy. You can't live without the drama. This is the difference between you and a Happily Ever Afterer. You like the drama because it makes the relationship feel "alive" and exciting. You confuse passion with love. If the guy isn't bad enough for you, you will do things to spice up the situation... and I'm not talking about handcuffs and whips. A lot of people in this category don't even realize what they are doing. They don't notice how they are choosing the wrong people and sabotaging their own relationships.
You are not a bad person. You just don't understand or enjoy the security of a loving and supportive partner. Unfortunately, you will cycle through bad boys until you wake up one day and realize what your pattern is. Even then, it will get worse before it gets better because you will start getting down on yourself for the bad choices you are making. Take a deep breathe. Take some time to journal or whatever you do to work out your emotions and get back in their. Train yourself to enjoy a gentle hug instead of the adrenaline rush that comes from dodging an airborne piece of your grandmother's china.
One Night Onlys
You don't need a relationship to feel complete. You feel held down and smothered when you're exclusive. You love the chase but you never want to chase the same person twice. You are a One Night Only. You fulfill your need for deeper emotions through other channels. You have your work, your family, your friends. You don't need or want someone there when you get home every night. You don't want someone blowing up your cell wondering where you are at three in the morning.There is a plethora of reasons why people choose this path. Maybe your first experience with love growing up was in a broken home, maybe someone hurt you so bad and it took you so long to work out the feelings (or you haven't yet) that you vowed to never let another person get that close, or maybe you just like having a whole bunch of sex. Who can say if this is the easiest or the hardest of the paths to choose but it does have a whole set of difficulties, many health related, that may not necessarily plague the other groups of lovers.
Most people in this group feel liberated, as if their eyes have been opened to the illusion of love. One thing is for sure, this path has a definite end. There will come a time when you won't be as cute as you once were or you will just run out of people in the town to chase and you'll have to change your M.O. Whether it'll be for better or worse will be entirely up to you.
Poor Unfortunate Souls
You are a Happily Ever Afterer who is depressed that Prince Charming hasn't shown up on his white horse. You are a Good Girl Who Likes Bad Boys who just realized why the cops are always at your house. You are a One Night Only who caught something that a shot in the ass can't cure. You are a Poor Unfortunate Soul. You lie awake at night and wonder how you could have been so stupid. You wonder if it's too late to find happiness. There is really no point worrying about the mistakes of the past. It's time to get out of bed, throw all the empty bottles of red wine littering your floor into the nearest recycling bin and make a change. It doesn't matter how, just do what works for you. Get a happy pill from your doctor, take a vacation with your friends, spend some time with your family. Find a way to recharge your emotional battery and get back in the game.
Love is real but there is not that "one" person for everyone out there. You did not miss THE one, you missed A one. There are a lot of people just like you that finally get it and are ready to have a relationship that you can deal with. It may be far from the Disney fairy tale but it's gonna work for you and that is your happy ending.
Love, Actuallys
You're already in love with someone. It didn't exactly play out the way you had imagined. They aren't exactly the person you thought you'd be with but that works for you. You are a Love, Actually. You had your obstacles to overcome but you both worked at it and you're still working at it every day. You are honest about what you need and they are honest about what they are able to give.take the latest Joel Poll about your love personality @ http://joelpoll.blogspot.com
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